By Milton Harris
Let me start off by saying I LOVE SEX! I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way, and with Valentines Day right around the corner I'm sure there will be a lot of sexual activity going on! Now I know you are probably saying to yourselves wait a minute, pump the brakes, did he just say he loves sex on a Christian blog? You heard right, I do love sex, but greater than my love for sex is God's love for sex. Wow! Did I lose anyone yet? Often times we grow up being taught in our homes, our schools, and churches that sexual love is a bad thing that should not be spoken about. I'm sure that for many of us our sex education consisted of this one and only statement....DON'T DO IT! However, would you be surprised if I told you that that type of teaching is not supported anywhere in the bible? In fact, in 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 the bible commands us to have sex frequently, and to not hold sex from each other. WHAT! This can't be true! Oh my dears it is. What we have to realize is that God loves sex because He created it. God designed sex to be the ultimate intimacy creator, so that we may experience a glimpse of how much He loves us and the type of close intimate relationship He wants to have with us. The problem we have today is, we have perverted sexual love and removed it from the proper context that God had originally designed it for. God never intended for sexual love to be between a man and a woman. He did not intend for sexual love to be expressed between a man and a man, nor was it intended for a woman and another woman. God created sex so that type of love can be expressed between a husband and his wife. And therein lies the problem. God has set a standard for sexual relations and if we do not agree with His standards what we will do is bring His standards down to our level instead of raising up our standards to meet His.
God loves sex but only in the context that He intended it for, marriage. Any sex outside of marriage is not and never was what God had intended it for. So, how do we know that Gods intentions for sexual relations were for married people only? The Bible states it so eloquently in Proverbs 5:15-19 which reads "Drink water from your own well--share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in public, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Don't share it with strangers. Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving doe, a graceful deer. Let her breast satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love." I believe that God is making it clear in these verses that sex within marriage is a happy, fun, joyous journey that builds intimacy and real love. And just to be clear your wifey or hubby is NOT someone who's been your boo for a long time. Ladies and gentlemen you are not married in the eyes of God until "He puts a ring on it!"
The only question left is why? Why is it so important to wait until you are married to experience the intimacy of sex? Well I have a couple of reasons that I believe will allow us to understand and accept Gods parameters when it comes to sexual love.
First and foremost sex is a gift because of a covenant. God gives this gift to married couples because of the covenant that they made with Him and each other to forsake all others and become one flesh together. It is with this commitment to become one in Holy Matrimony with another that God gives us the gift of sex, so that together as one we can experience the highest level of earthly intimacy possible. Sexual love is more than a physical thing. It involves the intertwining of two souls into one, that takes us to a level where we can understand how much God loves us. Sex in its proper context is so important to God that He binds it with the strongest covenant possible, which is a blood covenant. Ideally, when two people who are virgins come together to be one in Holy Matrimony God puts His stamp of approval on that union through the blood that is released from the woman when the man penetrates through Gods strategically placed flesh wall called a hymen. The result of this is a blood covenant to become one with God and each other.
The second reason God calls for sexual love to only be experienced in the confines of marriage is because as so brilliantly stated by Bishop TD Jakes, when you have sex outside of marriage you make your eventual spouse have to compete with your past experiences. The problem with past experiences is that no matter how hard you try they cannot be deleted. Once you give a part of your soul to another, you can not like that person anymore, be happily married, and it could be fifty years later, but when you see that person again that level of intimacy that you shared with that person is how you will identify your level of knowledge of them. Once it's done you can't take it back. Here is a quick example, how many of you have ever been out with your new boo and ran into your old boo that your new boo knew you were intimate with? Talk about an awkward situation for all parties. What is he thinking....what is she thinking? God doesn't want us to have to compete with each others past experiences.
God calls us to be drunk with sexual, romantic love, and gives us the opportunity and responsibility to show that sex within marriage is an awesome, God-given gift! Happy Valentines Day!